is someone else's drinking or drug use impacting your relationship with them?
Maybe it’s your partner, a parent, or your child. Alcohol and drug abuse can have an impact on your relationship. It’s scary when someone you love is abusing. Your loved one may realize they have a problem, or they may be in denial that anything is wrong. If you are frustrated because the alcoholic or addict is unwilling to get help, know that you can help yourself.
Addiction is often referred to as a family disease. While there is a genetic component to addiction for some, there are often longstanding patterns that families have of relating to each other when addiction is present. Unspoken rules like don’t feel, don’t talk, and don’t trust others are common in families experiencing addiction.
Talking with someone else and getting the support you need is critical to keeping your own sanity. In my work with couples and individuals impacted by alcohol and drug abuse, I have found it’s important for you, as their loved one, to know that you:
- Didn't cause it.
- Can't cure it.
- Can't control it.
What is important is for you to know that you can take care of yourself. If, and when your loved one is ready to get help, you can be more effective in supporting them if you have your own support in place.
I will work with you to help you find the support and care you need. If you’ve been facing this issue for a while, you’ve most likely heard from others to detach and let go. However each of us needs to connect with and depend on others in a healthy way. When faced with a loved one addicted to alcohol or drugs, we can develop ineffective ways trying to help those we love or fostering an unhealthy dependence on us to manage things. From wanting to help cure them of their alcoholism to trying to control the situations around us, we can start relating in ways that are Ineffective, hurtful, and that don't create the relationships that we want.
I am ready to work with you to help you find support, care for yourself, and start relating to those you love in ways that are effective and helpful.
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